I have been pushed to the limit.

To the stage where I had to make a decision so as to no shortchange anyone. But I don’t know how to break it. I know for sure that a lot of people are going to be disappointed at me. But I know that I have to do this.

I don’t want to be a hypocrite and I don’t want to do things with an unwilling heart.

So I guess my decision is final.

Today, on my way to Nexus as I was reading the Book of Amos on my phone, some guy accidentally bumped into me, my phone flew and since I was standing next to the door, it dropped into the platform gap. When I saw it drop, my heart dropped too. A passenger coming in was nice to comfort me and another person said that the station staff could retrieve it. And I thought my phone was gone forever.

This taugt me a really valuable lesson though. I was so affected it that I could cry anytime but I decided to hold back my tears. And plus, I was late in meeting Shirley Kam to practice worship and I could not contact her at all. But then I started to pray and I was reminded that although something that unfortunate happened to my phone, I could easily replace it. What was more important was that my heart was focused on God as I really wanted to minister to people through the guitar and through the morning worship. And this could not be done if my heart was burdened by this minor thing that could easily be replaced.

“Heaven and Earth may fade away, but the Word of God will always stay.”

It really taught me the importance of relying on God and to always keep my heart focused on God.

Today, (or yesterday) has been one of THOSE days.

1. I took the initiative to wake up earlier than my scheduled time to wake up so that I could do some housework before leaving the house. I still got into a fight with mom for doing this and my day started off with me in a bad mood.

2. Last minute things to do for service which was later in the day and there were some technical errors. Left the house with a heavy heart.

3. Had to correct someone today. Didn’t go well, on top of my bad mood, that affected me as well.

4. Had to rush my slides for service and the time was 4.30 and I was supposed to report for duty at 5.

5. In the media room, light console wasn’t working, a lot of things weren’t going smoothly, all the camera men couldn’t turn up, something wrong with the mac display.

It’s been one of those days that everything went wrong. But, the more the things that go wrong, the more God reveals Himself to us. On how He will bless us through the toughest storms (:

On a lighter note, treated the HRP people to paddle pops after service and we had a competition to see who could finish their’s faster. Ethan won! haha!

Had caregroup at Marina Barrage today (: Really thank God for the awesome weather so that we (or they) were able to fly kites. I totally love the Hope RP girls. Was really good to see them bonding and having fun together (:

As for last night, some stuff happened and I broke down again because I was feeling so so so discouraged. But thank God for raffy and michtans for hearing me out. I will continue to persevere.

When I got home today, I got a call for a job I applied for and I’m going down for an interview tomorrow. And I’ve got to work a minimum of 8 hours per week too! Totally cool! Hope everything goes well tomorrow!

Got kind of a packed day tomorrow. Meeting Cat at 11 at Eunos, Interview at 1230, celebrating Dhivv’s birthday at 3.30. Looking forward to tomorrow.

Anyways, I’m sunburnt because it was so hot today. Hopefully makeup can cover the redness on my face for my interview tomorrow! Kay! Turning in early today because I woke up at 830 to cook for the CG!

P.S. Congrats to Tab and Farhan for making it into the Top 12 (: (Dad’s gonna kill me when he sees the phone bill. Spent $6 PER PERSON just to vote so that’s like $12!)

I’m trying my best. Really.

I kind of broke down and cried just now because I was feeling really stressed about some stuff. It’s like, i just felt really discouraged all of a sudden and I couldn’t hold back the tears. But thank God for Rachel Fong. She knows me best (:

When our stress level goes up, our joy level must go up too!

Expectations. It is so hard to meet everybody’s expectations but as a leader, I want to go down to my peoples’ level and meet their needs.

So I was talking to Big-Head FONG and we both agreed that we need to go on a secret getaway soon. SOON SOON SOON!

So many things to do, so little time. The joy of the Lord will be my strength (:

Oh ya. I’m gonna miss michtans when she goes to China. I’m going to miss her alot alot alot and I will probably be quite miserable without her at the class chalet at the end of the month, but she better come for the BBQ! And and and Chayzx just had her wisdom tooth extracted today. Hope she’s doing fine. I miss the both of them a lot!

check me out at tumblr too! it’s really awesomely cool to use!

micheisbliss.tumblr.com

Taken from rafaelray.tumblr.com

• Convo between miche and tabby:
• miche : tab! don’t buy raffy from my friend! she’s buyin on behalf of me! hahahahahs!
• ☮ tgn : hahahah!!
• ☮ tgn : i buy already!!
• ☮ tgn : i want raffy!!!
• miche : he’s mine! hahahahhahahaas!
• ®Rafaelray: ehh.. wth siah… haha!

• Convo between me and tabby:
• ☮ tgn : HAHAHA
• ☮ tgn : noooo!! YOURE MINE K?
• ☮ tgn : i look after you
• ☮ tgn : dont let naughty miche take you
• ☮ tgn : hahaha!
• ®Rafaelray: aww sweet (:

MY Response:

This is payback (:

It’s okay Tab, I still love ya!

On Sunday, I put on my PM that I wanted ice cream! And michtans drew this for me! I was touched!

I HEART YOU MICHTANS! YOU’RE MY GODSENT (:

My day took another unexpected turn today.

Gees, I feel so super used now. I can’t believe how vulnerable I was again for letting my soft-heartedness get to me and to know that I’ll just get hurt even more.

I don’t know how I am feeling right now. Angry, hurt, upset, disappointed. But I guess it’s all part of life.

I was on the verge of tears the whole journey home and when I saw michtan’s latest post, I teared cause I was so touched. I am just so grateful for an awesome friend like her (:

On a lighter note, watched “where got ghost” with dhivv, shah and sly. Threw popcorn at sly’s face cause he’s IRRITATING! Movie was good, with suspense and comedy!

Oh wells, I still feel like crap now. Gonna go bathe.

I need to talk to someone. Gees.

Pray Until Something Happens.

Do you know that prayer is the best gift you can give to someone? Or the best comfort you can give to a person?

In May this month, when Jia Wei passed away, I was so devestated. But I was glad to have friends by me at that time. They tried to comfort me by hugging me, texting me, buying me ice chocolate. But the best comfort that I got was from michtans (: She prayed for me. And I felt so comforted after that because I knew that God was in the picture.

I may not give you the best advice or I may not be the best listening ear. I may not have enough money to share or enough time to give (although I do try my best). But what I can do for you is pray. So what can I pray for you today?

Anyways, had combined service today from 4 to 6pm and had my hopetots/kinders from 7pm to 9pm. I find joy in serving no matter how tired (or hungry) I am. Cause seeing the kids just bring a smile to my face.

1. Thaddeus insisted that his honey star be in the picture. He was so cute today. They had to colour in a picture of a fish and it was printed on white paper.

Thaddeus (holding a white colour pencil): Teacher! How come I colour but cannot see anything!

2. Gabriel. One of the tots. He clung onto me today (: super adorable but kept crying and I had to carry him for close to an hour. Only stopped crying when he had food.

3. Thaddeus and Jon Jon. Jon can be a model. Haha.

alrights! drained now!!! Going to sleep soon!